A good partner is like the taxman

(I originally wrote this for Headstuff.org )

If you want your relationship to soar to the highest echelons of couple’s harmony and satisfaction, take the taxman as your role model:

When in doubt, overestimate the other person’s worth

Assume that your partner is emotionally, mentally, spiritually richer than he/she looks. It’s just that the stress of life is obscuring his/her heart of gold.

If you’ve taken too much, give back

Like the taxman, occasionally, gives you a refund if you’ve paid too much, so you should return to your partner some of the love he/she gives you (after keeping the bulk for yourself)

Give abundant reminders of deadlines

Guessing games like let’s-see-if-they-remember-our-anniversary are counterproductive for everyone: it’s in nobody’s interest that your partner misses the deadline and you end up having to fine him/her.

Pay attention to details

The taxman will never send you a bill for “about this much”. You too, as a partner, should steer clear of woolly, vague statements and stick with the specific.

If your partner is late home don’t say “he/she’s always late, because he/she’s a jerk”. This is too generic. Instead, use relevant details like “she/he’s late on the one night in the year when we’ve arranged to go out to dinner because his/her car is out of fuel as I used it last and left it almost dry.”

Infer from the specific the general

If you make one tiny mistake on your tax return, the taxman concludes that you are a fraudster and, from now on, will treat you to a full tax investigation every year.

As a partner, you too should draw general conclusions from your other half’s slips. If your partner pays you an inadvertent compliment like “good idea, darling”, you should infer that he/she thinks highly of your intelligence not just on this occasion, but all the time, and that he/she considers you one of the cleverest people he/she’s ever met, and that’s one of the reasons why he/she’s so madly in love with you.

P.S. If you are interested in proper marriage advice, you can try The All-or-Nothing Marriage, by Eli Finkel.  I‘ve found it a bit technical in certain parts (I’m sure Mr Finkel doesn’t think so, I bet he’s tried very hard to shake off the jargon) but extremely interesting.

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Pamela Harbutt says:

    Really like this one! Especially as I was writing the dear taxman a cheque. Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Happy New Year to you too! Xx

      Like

  2. Megala says:

    Interesting comparison !

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I really enjoyed this post! X

    Liked by 1 person

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