Why do I keep going on about driving? Because, unless we live in a large city with good public transports, we spend ages behind the steering wheel. Also, as soon as we become parents, we turn into the kids’ default taxi service. So let’s see if we are up to… speed with our driving. Have fun.
1. If you were to buy a car today, what colour would you choose?
- A – A bright colour, to be seen by others
- B – A bright colour, so others can see me and get out of my way
- C – A dark colour, to sneak up on others and dazzle them with my speed
- D – A stripy pattern, to confuse the speed cameras
2. At what speed do you drive?
- A – Within the speed limit
- B – It depends on how much in a hurry I am
- C – It depends on the beat of the music
- D – At the car’s top speed, most of the time
3. Entering a higher speed limit,
- A – I increase my speed gradually
- B – I accelerate quickly to the new speed limit to make the most of it
- C – I don’t need to accelerate because I was already driving at that speed
- D – Speed limit? What’s that?
4. Do you ever make yourself carsick while driving?
- A – Never
- B – Never. Only my passengers feel sick
- C – Sometimes, but only after a big meal
- D – I don’t suffer from travel sickness
5. You haven’t driven through a ford, but your car has got mud splatted up to…
- A – …nowhere: I wash the mud off my car every evening, so as to minimise rusting
- B – …the bumpers
- C – …the wing mirrors
- D – …the rear windows
6. How often do you top up your windscreen cleaning fluid?
- A – Often: I like to squirt my windscreen clean and see better
- B – Never: other people top it up for me
- C – Never: I prefer to cock my head and peer through the splatted insects
- D – What are you talking about?
7. When parallel parking,
- A – I check for parking restrictions and choose a space wide enough for my car
- B – I choose a space wide enough for my car
- C – If I can’t fit, I bump the other cars out of my way
- D – I don’t do parallel parking: I park nose in, straight where I need to go
8. Hill start:
- A – I always leave a good gap with the car in front, in case they roll back
- B – I roll back onto the car behind but, hey, it’s not my fault!
- C – The purpose of the car behind me is to catch me if I roll back
- D – I don’t stop at hilly junctions so I don’t need to do a hill start
Majority of As
If I was in an ambulance, I’d hope that you were driving it. If I wasn’t married, I’d consider marrying you. If you lived near me, I’d want to be your friend.
Majority of Bs
Your driving is OK. Your car colour choice and your nauseating driving style probably don’t make you my first choice of who I’d like to be driven by, but you are not a public danger.
Majority of Cs
Have you ever wondered why your friends don’t ask you to drive them from the pub even when you’re not drinking? Or, if you have kids, why you can’t find another family willing to share school drop-offs and pick-ups with you? A couple of sessions with a driving instructors would make a perfect birthday gift for you.
Majority of Ds
Even a rain-drenched hitchhiker would hide his thumb if you were driving by. You need to get your driving sorted, mate.